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Rhode Island

A POEM FOR PUMPKINHEADS BY PAP

THERE I WAS BROKEN HEARTED
" MY PUMPKIN TRIED TO GO, BUT ONLY FARTED "

THEN A GREAT BIG SPLIT OCCURED
I THOUGHT TO MYSELF " THIS IS A REAL #*:! "

LATER THAT DAY A FAN I APPLIED
" THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD THOUGHT I WAS FRIED"

BUT SHE SEALED AND HEALED SO OFF I WENT
AS I THOUGH TO MYSELD " YOU CAN ALL GET #^*: "

THREE WEEKS LATER THE WEIGH OFFS WERE HERE
" SHES GONNA GO HEAVY " OF THAT I HAVE NO FEAR

I BACKED UP THE TRUCK AND WAS READY TO LOAD
" IF I WAIT ANY LONGER IM GONNA EXPLODE "

SO ON WENT THE STRAPPING AND UP WENT THE POD
" MY WIFE,KIDS AND NEIGHBORS APPROVED WITH A KNOD "

THAT TROPHY WAS MINE ,CAUSE I HAD THE CLOUT
BUT ON THE WAY UP "THE BOTTOM FELL OUT "

BUT THATS OK CAUSE IT REALLY DONT MATTER
" I GOT NEXT YEAR AND SHES GONNA BE EVEN FATTER "

8/21/2005 10:22:40 PM

Www.extremepumpkinstore.com

love it!

8/22/2005 12:19:34 AM

Hudsonville, Michigan ([email protected])

Good one, Dick...
Here's another one that pretty well describes my pumpkin growing efforts...

"Ode to Pumpkin"
(May...the great hope)

Pumpkin. Oh, Pumpkin! Oh how you will grow!
The soil's been tilled, this seed that I sow
will grow up to be an October sensation.
People will gawk from all 'round the nation.
I'll weed, water, fertilize - yes I am braggin',
Until you're the size of an orange Volkswagon!

(July...the frustration)

Pumpkin. Oh, pumpkin! Please, please won't you grow?
I get up each morning and walk to and fro...
crossing with precision hand pollination,
carefully mating each flower with stamen...
The neighbors, they shake their heads sadly at me,
"How silly!" they say. Still, no fruit do I see...


(October...final desperation)

Pumpkin, Oh Pumpkin. Why wouldn't you grow?
How pitifully small, I've got nothing to show
for draining my savings on liquid seaweed.
How will I explain? I've got children to feed!
To the end of my money and wits I am near.
Still I can only say "Wait till next year!"

Next year you bring your 'fatty' on weigh off day and I'll bring my orange VW!
Frank

8/22/2005 9:41:16 AM

Rhode Island

excellent frank

hopefully ron and i will still have two respectable entries come october
its been a really sucky year in ri- no rain , lots of heat and humidity

dick w

8/22/2005 7:15:32 PM